Major

From the Latin maior, meaning greater or superior, originally used in Europe as an adjective of comparison before hardening into a military rank. It appeared sporadically across nineteenth-century American birth rolls, largely in the South, before twenty-first-century parents adopted it during a broad shift toward title-based names.

A name that announces itself before entering a room. While recorded continuously since 1880, the modern version belongs almost entirely to the playground set. It reads like an immediate promotion, assigning the weight of a brass commission to someone who still requires assistance opening a juice box.